I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
