i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
