You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
