Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
