He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
