ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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