I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
