Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize