worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
