DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
