you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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