Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
mondays should just be called national damage control day
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This is my gift to your gina
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize