That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
