i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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