I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
