Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
