It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We're too hungover to prance.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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