Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
