Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
no, he came in my armpit
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
