i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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