i just google imaged poop.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
