capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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