we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
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Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
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I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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