she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
