I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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