Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
