Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize