dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
