At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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