I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
