I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
