I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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