what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
