why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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