his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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