i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize