all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
