I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
