can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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