no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize