We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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