I hate all girls vehemently.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
