Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I will be naked everywhere
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
