would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
