So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
