Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
