The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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