Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
