Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He kissed a someone with a penis
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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