..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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