Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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