I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
