We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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