They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
