I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
