all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
