Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you would pick up someone in the library
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
