Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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