i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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