if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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