They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
