tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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