I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
