It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
