The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
